Counting the days ...

I have been counting my days this month around. First on for my traineeship which is going to end in less than 2 months time. I almost forgot about the fact that I already been in Hong Kong for more than 4 months. The time I waited anxiously for my wroking permit to arrive in Malaysia feels like yesterday. And the time I spent so many sleepless nights thinking whether or not I should go to Hong Kong, or wait a little more time for my chance go to Europe perhaps. Time zoom past me like a bullet train, especially when it is a good one. When something comes to an end, it is mind-boggling and head-scratching time again to start making plans and start another new journey. This is the time when I hate most - decision making , which doesn't even sound helpful when I have a frickle mind. I'm at another cross-road in my life again. I came to another junction , wondering which way I should take. I came to Hong Kong, I saw Hong Kong myself ,and I fall in love with this city - a city so vibrant , so lively. I wanted to stay longer. And now I have less than 2 months time for my job hunting. I'm desperate. I'm frantically looking ways to stay a little bit longer.

But my dear friends, don't get me wrong. I love my country. I feel proud to be born in Malaysia, especially I feel so special when I 'impress' ( in a cheating way ?! ) so many people along the way when I'm in Hong Kong by my language abilities ( which of course is such common scene back home, where we converse in more than one language in our daily conversation ). But home is always home, you know that it is always there for you. Malaysia won't suddenly disappear from the Atlas Map in a day. I already spent enormous time in my life - the day I was born, my childhood, my teenage days, my young adulthood, breathing Malaysia air and stepping on Malaysia ground. I need to get out. To breath new air. To put my feets on a foreign ground. To bump around even though you know there are so many uncertainties or maybe obstacles await you, where I could just find my way home easily - my sense of security, where I can just cuddle comfortably in a safety net, EASILY. But I found my way out, after waited so long, after waited to fulfill all my commitments back home. But I'm not ready to go back, not yet. I will somehow, but just not yet.

And now this is my jigsaw puzzle - should I stay in Hong Kong ? Or should I venture out to another new journey, which I been wanted long, which I will sit in awe,looking at other people experiencing the journey I wanted, and green with envy when I look at pictures? I have had enough of sleepless nights on this. I will take any opportunities that come along the way now.

On a positive note, I'm counting my days to something beautiful happens :) Something delightful to lift up my spirits despite all the untolerable moments. Something to look forwards to , and to give myself a definite answer to all the question marks tangling on my mind. Soon though, less than a week time !